Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Susan "Starts" a Food Fight

Read or purchase the series at The Gifted Book Series
I never intentionally started a food fight.
But I did get in trouble in for one.
Here’s how I think it happened. I was eight years old and I noticed someone giving Amber, another girl in my class, their celery sticks. Not liking celery myself, I figured I would add to Amber’s collection. Unfortunately, Amber must not have been liking me that day, because she threw them back. Not onto my tray, but at my face.
Now, I had a bit of a temper when I was younger and I was feeling offended. This girl had rudely refused the gift I had given her. So I picked up the celery and threw them back at her. There, see how she likes tasteless vegetables to the face!
She started crying and the cafeteria monitor, Ms. Jokovich, came over and investigated. It was decided that because I had thrown the celery sticks onto her plate, I was the one to blame.
Ms. Jokovich made me sit up on the stage of the cafeteria/gym/auditorium while the rest of the kids went out for recess. Well, I wasn’t going to abide by that. I had not started it. I was simply trying to give Amber my celery sticks. So I waited until no one was looking and snuck outside to join the fun I was hearing.
A few minutes later, Ms. Jokovich came looking for me and it was then I was really in trouble. Forget sitting on the stage. I was going to the Principal’s office.
The Principal, Mr. McBurney, knew about my unnatural anal region, however, and wasn’t sure whether he should paddle me or not. He phoned home, talked to my dad, and the next thing I knew, I was being told to stand up and bend over.
When I got off the bus that day, my dad met me at the door and asked me what happened at school. I glared at him and said, “You know. You said they could paddle me.”
Yeah, I got in trouble for that remark too.
Anyway, let this be a lesson to all of you: Ask before you give someone celery.
Read or purchase the series at The Gifted Book Series

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